me: "how did it feel dancing with me?"
follower: "great. this was true even a year ago."
me: "... have i gotten better? ... i mean, well, i can't dance with myself..."
--
lomyl and i have been talking a lot about the changes (tango) in ourselves. i gripe often that i don't know how i have evolved and transformed in this discipline, the tango.
in the early years of my training in judo, i never felt any improvements. every night that i played, i got whumped by the black belts. and then, just as i thought that i was getting better (it would take longer for the whumping to happen), as if they were teasing me all along, i would get my ass kicked again. of course, that was exactly what was going on. the good players, the good teachers, they played just enough for me to understand what was going on. and then, when i did improve, they simply kicked it up a notch. it would be the same ordeal, all over again.
sensei tells me this story: his younger brother was in an elite college judo program in Japan. in the company of these world-class athletes, he was powerless against them. he felt deflated, and wondered whether he belonged. sensei told him to wait until he competed against another school. sure enough, beat the crap out of his opponents.
am i getting better, in the tango?
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