That Will Never Happen Again

Dear Diary,

Listening to the podcast, the host interviews a standup comedian. About performances, this phrase: "That will never happen again." An act, so outrageous, so spontaneous, that when it is over, the performer, and the audience, believes it to be once-in-a-lifetime.

So many of my friends chase after that tangasm, that high, that experience, one time, and they want it again and again.

Of course I want to experience the "best tanda ever," again and again. But I try not to chase after it, or try to recreate it. Because, "that will never happen again."

desire?

Dear Diary,

Last night, for the first time, well, not the first time, it was the first time that I had a vivid desire to know, to feel, how it would be, to be intimate with…

The movements in our embrace, so effortless, so quiet, so deliberate, so thoughtful…

Not only intimate, as in sex, but rather, intimate, as in exploring the body and the spirit within...

dear diary,

it has been more than a year since i last wrote to you. just as so many others before me had written before, what "had" to be shared already have, and then, repetitions of the same ideas/feelings/emotions that simply refuse to be described or categorized, certainly not by words.

friendships dissolved and formed, as always. sadly, many of the faded friendships were due to me; i am quite unhappy about this. some friendships teeter. and yet all of us still converge at the same watering holes, often pretending the other is invisible, or exchanging ridiculous pleasantries that, well, just felt moronic.