dear diary,
a few days ago, when my friend told me about the giddiness from performing to unfamiliar music, i told her that the day before, i had lamented to lomyl that i had not cried in a while. i had wondered about this for a few weeks, about a lack of *something*.
and then, it dawned on me that i had come to know the music; that i knew; that i was no longer taken by surprise; that the familiarity had robbed me of the delicious emotional roller coaster that came from not knowing.
i sighed deeply to my friend, about how much i missed those moments, of being caught, being in the moment, to experience *IT* for the first time, to feel the rawness of the *FIRST TIME*.
and then, unexpectedly (ha ha), last night, to the completely familiar music, with a favorite partner, i experimented in ways i had not, in a very long time. you know what? instead of being caught by the music, i was surprised by what i would do with it! i could not anticipate, nor did i want to, what would happen between us. this surprise, to me, was also a surprise to my partner. for many sets, we were giddy about every surprising step, to the music that we had come to know so well.
you make me work
dear diary,
three followers in one week said the same thing to me, "whoa, you make me work." (actually, i get this with some regularity.) to which i grimaced with embarrassment. when they saw that i was upset, they quickly explained that my lead forced them to be "on," that there would be no room to hide, that their mistakes were amplified, and that all this was GOOD. when they saw that their explanations did not mollify, that in fact i was more stricken, they told me that, REALLY IT WAS GOOD.
"but..."
"really, it's good that i have to work."
hmmm... and sigh... i don't understand.
three followers in one week said the same thing to me, "whoa, you make me work." (actually, i get this with some regularity.) to which i grimaced with embarrassment. when they saw that i was upset, they quickly explained that my lead forced them to be "on," that there would be no room to hide, that their mistakes were amplified, and that all this was GOOD. when they saw that their explanations did not mollify, that in fact i was more stricken, they told me that, REALLY IT WAS GOOD.
"but..."
"really, it's good that i have to work."
hmmm... and sigh... i don't understand.
small change, everything changes
dear diary,
there were times that i had to NOT invite a follower, with whom i share fun and interesting company, but my body hurt when we dance. i was very upset.
and then, i incorporated, from the lesson with the visiting teacher, one "small" change.
wow wow wow wow wow!!!
now, my body feels safe. i can dance with "everyone."
:-)
just giddy.
you have no idea!!! how! happy! i! am!!!
there were times that i had to NOT invite a follower, with whom i share fun and interesting company, but my body hurt when we dance. i was very upset.
and then, i incorporated, from the lesson with the visiting teacher, one "small" change.
wow wow wow wow wow!!!
now, my body feels safe. i can dance with "everyone."
:-)
just giddy.
you have no idea!!! how! happy! i! am!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)