dear diary,
a few days ago, when my friend told me about the giddiness from performing to unfamiliar music, i told her that the day before, i had lamented to lomyl that i had not cried in a while. i had wondered about this for a few weeks, about a lack of *something*.
and then, it dawned on me that i had come to know the music; that i knew; that i was no longer taken by surprise; that the familiarity had robbed me of the delicious emotional roller coaster that came from not knowing.
i sighed deeply to my friend, about how much i missed those moments, of being caught, being in the moment, to experience *IT* for the first time, to feel the rawness of the *FIRST TIME*.
and then, unexpectedly (ha ha), last night, to the completely familiar music, with a favorite partner, i experimented in ways i had not, in a very long time. you know what? instead of being caught by the music, i was surprised by what i would do with it! i could not anticipate, nor did i want to, what would happen between us. this surprise, to me, was also a surprise to my partner. for many sets, we were giddy about every surprising step, to the music that we had come to know so well.
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