dear diary,
it was a very long time (too long) since i last danced with O$8tya. with (too many and ridiculously unnecessary) apologies about her rustiness, we began our (too brief) dance.
and then, i realized this: my most most most favorite partners are completely vulnerable... and offer themselves to me, freely.
so much more to say about this crazy word... but i think i would be too emotionally and openly vulnerable. hahahahahahhhaha!
mismatch
dear diary,
by now i am confident to request a dance, and have thick enough skin when they decline. but, what i didn't expect to befuddle me, since it had been a long time that this happened, was the complete mismatch in the connection, the embrace.
the first song started innocuously enough. i struggled with her preferred inertia; i adjusted a number of times, trying to understand her. we smiled politely during the brief interval between the 1st and 2nd song, exchanged our names, and then into the embrace, i tried again, to connect with her.
the floor was the most crowded ever, because it was a special night, with special guests. but i have been, for some time, quite comfortable, indeed, i welcomed the small space, and the necessary small dances.
and now i realized that i could not understand her, that i could not hear her, if she was speaking to me, or worse, that she was not speaking to me.
and now the tightening of her body, and i knew it was over.
by now i am confident to request a dance, and have thick enough skin when they decline. but, what i didn't expect to befuddle me, since it had been a long time that this happened, was the complete mismatch in the connection, the embrace.
the first song started innocuously enough. i struggled with her preferred inertia; i adjusted a number of times, trying to understand her. we smiled politely during the brief interval between the 1st and 2nd song, exchanged our names, and then into the embrace, i tried again, to connect with her.
the floor was the most crowded ever, because it was a special night, with special guests. but i have been, for some time, quite comfortable, indeed, i welcomed the small space, and the necessary small dances.
and now i realized that i could not understand her, that i could not hear her, if she was speaking to me, or worse, that she was not speaking to me.
and now the tightening of her body, and i knew it was over.
finally
dear diary,
last night i continued my 2-year-long experiments on turning to my left. i tried and tried and tried, over these months, to figure out what to do with my body, to have smoother more energetic smaller/bigger faster/slower turns. and then, finally finally finally! i discovered (well, not really, i heard the instruction a few years ago, but of course, i didn't understand the "shorthand" at the time) what i could do with my legs my feet... omg it was a fantastic moment.
last night i continued my 2-year-long experiments on turning to my left. i tried and tried and tried, over these months, to figure out what to do with my body, to have smoother more energetic smaller/bigger faster/slower turns. and then, finally finally finally! i discovered (well, not really, i heard the instruction a few years ago, but of course, i didn't understand the "shorthand" at the time) what i could do with my legs my feet... omg it was a fantastic moment.
soul embrace
dear diary,
it was a normal night. i did not have any expectations other than being with friends, being in the embrace, and being in the music. yes i know that's asking a lot! but the truth is that i am blessed to have friends who make this possible, all. the. time...
in the middle of a set, i was no longer in the embrace of G$oia. no it was odd, a rare i-don't-know-how-to-call-it and i was taken aback.
i mentioned this to G$oia, that it was special, to which she asked, "in what way?" i struggled... and then, "everything was so good... and suddenly i felt that i was embracing a human soul." it was crazy i told her.
and then she revealed to me that she had just had a fight and was shaken.
i had embraced her soul.
it was a normal night. i did not have any expectations other than being with friends, being in the embrace, and being in the music. yes i know that's asking a lot! but the truth is that i am blessed to have friends who make this possible, all. the. time...
in the middle of a set, i was no longer in the embrace of G$oia. no it was odd, a rare i-don't-know-how-to-call-it and i was taken aback.
i mentioned this to G$oia, that it was special, to which she asked, "in what way?" i struggled... and then, "everything was so good... and suddenly i felt that i was embracing a human soul." it was crazy i told her.
and then she revealed to me that she had just had a fight and was shaken.
i had embraced her soul.
one step closer
dear diary,
a moment, i (more precisely, my body) understood the intricate twists required for the grapevine. for several years, i saw but i didn't understand; i accidentally felt but i could not reproduce. and then, in the middle of a meeting at work, i got it.
in judo, one is not a student until attaining the rank of black belt.
i feel one step closer to (and sometimes frustratingly not yet) being a student of tango.
a moment, i (more precisely, my body) understood the intricate twists required for the grapevine. for several years, i saw but i didn't understand; i accidentally felt but i could not reproduce. and then, in the middle of a meeting at work, i got it.
in judo, one is not a student until attaining the rank of black belt.
i feel one step closer to (and sometimes frustratingly not yet) being a student of tango.
clueless
(between songs)
me: "i love this place."
tanguera: "..."
me: "yup. everyone is so flirty..."
tanguera: "i am flirting with you right now."
me: "i love this place."
tanguera: "..."
me: "yup. everyone is so flirty..."
tanguera: "i am flirting with you right now."
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