sidelined

dear diary,

almost two months ago, i started to study Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). At first, I was quite concerned that my sparring partners would injure me. My elbow having been snapped a long time ago, it would be extremely sensitive to BJJ's trademark dislocation techniques.

i was also quite out-of-shape. frankly, i did not think that i would last long before becoming sidelined with an injury, and before i could regain some physical condition. at my first workout, i could only spar for 5 minutes before total exhaustion. but, last week, i finally began to trust. and, not only did i last for the entire 90 minute workout, i sparred for 15 minutes. of course, i almost fainted after that. but, it was fantastic fantastic.

on a roll, until i became quite weak, debilitated, on friday. i am getting better, but i can only do things (anything: walk, talk, eat) for a few minutes at a time, and then i would have to rest. i haven't been to work, because i have no energy at all. i read on the internet that it may be six weeks before i recover fully. great. just what my fragile mind that is always full of anxieties and panics needs...

shit.