shudder

dear diary,

i dj'ed. i was happy with the music. i was happy with people happy with the music. a number of my favorite partners in the room. i waited, hoping that K!wobo would be available, to ask her for the De Caro set that would end with Aníbal Troilo. By the third song of the tanda, I knew the notes that would be forthcoming. I was afraid.

last night, i was emotionally vulnerable. i knew it. raw. events in my life. at first, relief. and then, more worries.

i guess that i had planned the music, for relief. i don't know.

and then the song began... i told myself to trust her. i allowed the emotion to rise. my body shuddered. i could not. i wanted to. but i could not. i simply held on to her, accepted that she knew i had surrendered.

i could barely look into her eyes. i did not want to reveal my quivering face, as we parted.