moving on

dear diary, i am learning to be honest with myself, about myself. i have wondered, and have come up with a number of reasonable explanations about my reluctance to invite women to dance. finally, the façades fall away. what if, this time, she says no, because she has moved on? over time, i have stopped dancing with a good number of partners, because, i had "moved on." i have seen, and have heard the same stories from my tanguera friends. oh the fear, that one night, and i would never know when this moment will come, when she will (cruelly or kindly, really doesn't matter does it?) decline, and that would be the end.