i am an idiot

dear diary,

a few years ago (three or four i don't remember) magical-follower agreed to dance with me. it was not so much that the dance was unbelievable. it was what she said to me after: "the way you dance, you remind me of a famous person back home in BA." i didn't then, nor do i now, understand the reference. no matter, at that moment, those words fueled me.

we would not dance again until a few days ago. (meanwhile, every year, when she visited, she would ask me, "how come you don't ask me to dance?")

anyway, it was the last night, and she would not return for another year. i waited and waited, while men lined up to ask her to dance. and because she is gracious, she accepted all invitations.

i looked at the clock. not much time left. i resolved to sit and wait for the opening. even if i had to (break my own rule of first listen to the music before an invitation) ask her before the music began. i kept my eyes on her. other men did too. i sighed quietly.

i sat for three tandas. i looked only at her.

finally, a cortina. i peeked around the line of people. i smiled at her. she saw me and gave me a big grin. we approached each other.

when we embraced at the end, she told me, "i will always dance with you."

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