dear diary,
recent email exchanges with a friend led me to realize (again!) that i think way too much over simple things. but hey celebrate me for being me right?
anyway i can't help myself...
this eye-contact thing, this cabeceo thing, it is tricky. yes i know it is the safe way for everyone. but, to exercise the ritual demands a tough skin. some tangueras don't look, because they don't want to risk seeing (gasp) the intended tanguero avert his eyes, to avoid the "invitation to invite." in return for the non-cabeceo, a tanguero who makes the effort to invite the tanguera surely desires her.
well ok. i accept this. i am very happy to risk rejection (used to it by now most of the time heh heh), so that a tanguera can non-cabeceo.
i, as a man, have it easy right? well...
i don't know that it is good, but when i see a highly desirable tanguero (HDT) appear at a milonga, i defer my invitations. the more i think about it, the more awkward i feel about my inactions. i just haven't figured it out yet. anyway, why do i do it? because i want to know that when i invite a tanguera, she doesn't accept because HDT is unavailable, and she is just "killing time" dancing with me. I also don't want to be rejected because she is waiting for HDT.
i want tanguera to WANT to dance with me for that set.
4 comments:
Definitely best not to think about it. Want it. Do it. Accept the outcome.
Yeah, yeah, easier said than done...
@Mark, yes, thank you. I think it is easy, as soon as I accept. ;-)
ever thought that maybe for some tangueras you are a HDT ???
First of all, I gotta say I love how honest you are in your writing.
As for the HDT thing, it reminded me of the many doubts I also had (now I have completely new doubts :D ). Well, I think the best course of action and frame of mind is fortunately always the same (and, unfortunately, takes a whole lot of practice to achieve):
invite a person to dance because you want to dance with her. At that moment, your only motive and sincere wish is to have a wonderful dance with her. You can't give more than your best, but if you're honestly giving your best (and I don't mean merely technically, but giving yourself over as a person completely to the dance, so to speak), she will sense it and enjoy the dance with you. There will always be better and worse dancers than you, and even if you're the best, you will never be everyone's favorite partner or HDT. This frame of mind helps me put myself back in the moment, instead of thinking how much my partner is enjoying herself, whether I should have done that move three beats ago etc.
It might sound mucky, but sincere emotion really beats it all :)
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