dear diary,
a few weeks ago, during randori with a beginner, i lost confidence. for the first few minutes, i was tossing him with the same technique without trouble. i was clearly in charge. i simply had to want it, and i executed the move. then, i lost confidence. i began to analyze, to think, to process. i sensed everything around me, overwhelmed by the enormity of the world. too much too much too much. i went for the throw, and he slipped away.
at the milonga last night, i lost confidence...
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