nervous heart

dear diary,

i first spied her many months ago in her home town. the entire night, i watched her lead, beautifully, tanda after tanda.

at the festival, i spotted her again. i wanted badly to ask her to lead me. gutless...

the next night, i waited until she was about to walk off the floor to take a rare break, and approached her.

"would you like to lead me?"

she looks at me, with an uncomfortable expression, "if you are not a follower, i won't... if you don't follow well... "

"20 seconds" i say, "then, if it's bad, please, feel free to just walk away."

a long pause. "i will dance one song with you, because you asked. but only one."

"fantastic!"

(only at this time do i realize what i have done. my heart pounds, i am flushed with heat. i can barely breath. i don't hear the music. i just feel woozy and scared out of my mind. i could not still my heart and my mind, to listen to her... i was, simply put, awful awful awful.)

at the end of the song... "you are a good follower. are you a teacher?"

i burst out laughing. "no no no. i just love to follow."

"thank you so much for dancing with me." i said, at the end of the song, grateful for her generosity.